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  • « A wrench in the plan | Home | That’s it, we’re moving to France! »

    Mexicanica, Canamerico or Americanixco?

    By Neil Ransom | October 7, 2007

    Tear down the wall, pack up the minutemen, and get ready to expand! Immigration has just taken a turn for the better. The solution to our current immigration problems is to unify Canada, the US and Mexico into one nation state.

    Kate has posed a question for the Republican YOUTUBE debate in November.

    YouTube Preview Image

    This question has ilicited a number of enlightened and articulate commments from obviously well-educated people roaming the internet such as (these are actual quotes):

    “LADY!!! WERE AMERICA NOT FREAKING MEXICO!!!!! its not our freaking concern. UGH.”-MushyPenguin

    “Ah, so global Socialism is your answer. How wonderful. And who should pay for all this? Why, Americans of course. I guarantee I’ve been around the world, and seen more of it than your prepubescent, idealistic little mind has. Let’s all do away with borders, countries and individuality. We should be all one big happy planet. Grow up and open your eyes.” -Wallace1776

    “Why is it the job of the United States to “improve Mexico”? What kind of globalism are you smoking?”-Sugarmonkey528

    “Land mines and 50 cal machine guns…that’ll do the trick.”-mike3764

    “yeah and… change those retarded glasses.”-bcmple (this was the entire quote)

    “Screw Mexico, its time to focus on America!” -FatherClayton

    “She even looks like a ****ing liberal activist. More U.S. citizens are killed by illegal scum every year than are killed in Iraq. The ones who do come here to work, they steal our social security numbers and burden the tax payers. Look how they run their own country, the more of them that come here, the more they are going to bring us down. Liberals don’t know how to run this country… Why have any borders at all?” -danwk7

    We have been so struck by these brilliant ideas we have come up with a plan. You’re right Mushypenguin, we’re not in Mexico! But, we could be. You’re right danwk7, why have any borders at all! Our new plan for the future of North America is a gigantic conglomerate nation. Canamerico! This was people will truly have a choice. They can show their support for local political decisions by voting with their residency. This may at first, of course, iniciate a enmass migration to “Canada” since they provide “healthcare.” But, the US government would wise up. The populationless barren Mexican desert would have to entice people back with less robbing from the poor & more equitable programs (perhaps even un-corrupt elections.)

    Besides, just think of the new National Anthem possibilities.

    O say, can you see, we are so proudly border-free? Canamericanos, there’ll be no cry of war, no attacks to make earth shake at its core.

    O Canamerico!

    Our home and somewhat native land! True patriot love in all thy sons & daughters command.


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    2 Responses to “Mexicanica, Canamerico or Americanixco?”

    1. Amy jane Says:
      October 10th, 2007 at 10:35 pm

      I say Canamerico is the best conglomerate.

    2. missy Says:
      October 19th, 2007 at 2:36 pm

      ha! i think that was an excellent question, kate. as for the comments it illicited from the well-informed, articulate masses… might i borrow a phrase from my esteemed mushypenguin:

      “UGH.”

      i honestly have to make a concerted effort to NEVER read bulletin boards on the internet–especially not on youtube, msn or aol–because it’s bad for my blood pressure. honestly, people are SO DUMB. it infuriates me and makes me want to move to a country without freedom of speech. (just kidding–i love free speech. like right now: i am using free speech and i love it. but sometimes…i just wish i could make it so all the IDIOTS in this country don’t have freedom of speech.)

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