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Brilliant baby names
By Kate | June 23, 2007
Last night as we were getting ready to go to bed Neil and I discussed the critical topic of “What would we name our kid(s)?” if we were to some day procreate. Baby names, like many other normal topics this one quickly turned into a marketing scheme. We have narrowed it around to a few unisex options.
- Of course is the .com option. Joseph Neil Ransom II.com
- Popular search engines. Google Kelly-Ransom, Yahoo Kelly-Ransom. (This option may have better luck if we end up living in Nigeria where it is common practice to name your child Monday, Forgiveness, Honest, Winter, Orangello, Limegello [these are real examples from people we have met] or really any other word you like.)
- Sell the child’s name to a corporate sponsor. REI Kelly-Ransom. McDonald’s Kelly-Ransom. Albertson’s Kelly-Ransom. (I’m surprised this option isn’t more popular. I feel certain that there are a lot of young couples that would be willing to give their offspring appellations of their favorite brand names. Just imagine all of the Roxys, Abercrombies, & Hollisters we would have running around if corporations picked up this brilliant marketing tactic.)
- The ultimate success, we feel, though lies in naming the baby what you want it to turn out to be. For example: I would name one child Chiropractor & Neil will probably name one Web Master. Success is almost guaranteed, I mean, who’s ever heard of a dentist named Chiropractor? That’d just be silly.
And of course, let us not rule out the possibility of the glorious combination of them all.
Millionaire Subway Google Kelly-Ransom.com
Leave a comment if you have an idea for our future (inevitably very disturbed) child. If you come up with a good one we may give you a cut of the corporate take. If we get one million comments, Kate has sworn to let Neil name the (poor) child The Incredible Hulk irrespective of gender.
Tagged with: baby-names • brand-names • google • kate • Marriage • names
June 23rd, 2007 at 11:48 am
to add to the list of african names that make me want to dcelebrate: “blessing” and “lucky-girl”. i’m not sure if lucky-girl was actually hyphenated, i just wanted to emphasize that it is indeed a two part first name (think mary jane). these were the names of twin daughters of a teenage refugee who lived at the salt lake city ywca teen home when i worked there a year ago. she never let on, but i think she was secretly a genius.
June 27th, 2007 at 7:55 pm
What ever happened to the plan to name the Kransom kids BIBLICAL NAMES - LIKE “jEZEBEL” FOR EXAMPLE?
July 10th, 2007 at 11:17 am
Though I’m a little hesitant to assist Neil in getting these comments to one million, the post made me laugh so I wanted to comment. I thought Nick Cage was a little insane for naming his baby Kal-el, but then I figured at least he’s named it after someone who has some integrity and uses his power for good, so that can’t be all bad.
I’ve only read three posts and I like you two already. Not so…cookie-cutter, if that makes sense. I’m pretty sure I’ll pop up in your comments again at some point.
July 12th, 2007 at 8:53 pm
Why not just name them all George Foreman? It worked for George Foreman.
October 30th, 2007 at 6:15 pm
Pamy made me look at your site and I’m hooked. I made my husband move to a spanish speaking country where he does not speak the language, and loves to create new words as I heard Neil does as well. Any way, I thought I would share my husband’s desired names for our children, maybe you can use them first so I don’t have to… Genghis, Terasa, and Kubla Khan. So just remember, it could be worse.