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By kate, September 5, 2012 8:13 pm

I have been feeling a strange sense of paralysis lately. Every day I make a long list of To Dos. (Currently consisting of: 1) Find a job 2) Write an Op Ed about Marriage Equality 3) Find out when loans payments start 4) Submit claim form from my last day of health insurance 5) Go to the grocery store…. etc) Then I come home after work, with plenty of time to check off several things from my list, or at least make steps towards accomplishing them, and I settle in to a several hour binge of reality TV and general internet wanderings. Mind you, trashiness of content knows no bounds. My most recent obsession is ABC’s the Bachelor Pad. No, not the far more classy Bachelor. Bachelor Pad is a show where rejects from the Bachelor and Bachelorette fight each other in a twisted weeks-long game to win 250k. Classy.

But, something set in before law school graduation and really settled in during the dreary months of bar prep this summer. Really foreign feelings of lethargy and apathy began to leech into my brain.

…

One time a friend of mine convinced me to do an aura test. Basically you answer a litany of questions in columns of Yes, No or Maybe. Adding up the columns tells you what color your aura is. This tells you what characteristics similarly-shaded people have. This particular friend likes to analyze responses to the test in real time, and has most of the questions memorized. When I answered the question, “You will someday be famous” with a No, she shook her head incredulously at me.  “What?? You don’t think you are going to be famous??!?” I answered that I just couldn’t think of a reason that among billions of people on earth, I would make it into the handful that has fame and fortune written in their stars. Sure, I had thought about what it would be like to be famous, but couldn’t come up with the “how.”

In furtherance of my reality TV obsession, I was looking at the Twitter feed of one of the buxom babes on the Bachelor Pad. This particular contestant, Blakely, had worked for 15 years as a Hooters waitress, and is portrayed as one of the most unlikeable characters on the show. Mostly because she’s as pushy & manipulative as the men. When I read her Tweets I realized why I liked her. She posted a tweet from a woman trying to raise awareness of a rare disease that her son had died of. I realized that Blakely, aside from wanting to be rich and marry a hot guy, also wanted to be famous for the reason that I bet my Aura-loving friend would. Why so many people would. Because they want to be listened to. They want people, lots of people, to think what they say is legitimate, and value what they do.

In our fame-obsessed, reality-drenched world, we have stopped listening to real people. We listen to pundits shouting. Why to we listen to what they have to say? Because they are famous. Does it really matter why they are famous? No. If Angelina Jolie says that we should Free Burma Now!, then we probably should. If my friend Thelma says the same thing. Who listens? It all seems so arbitrary, but why so many causes try to lure celebrities to their side.

…

Transitions are always difficult. You go from knowing what your day, your week and your years to come will look like to not knowing. For me this period of transition involves going from feeling overwhelmed with possibilities and ideas to totally underwhelmed with the banality of the choices I see before me, I hope for a short time. It comes from the excitement of knowing you’ll someday be a lawyer (or professor, or whatever) and the accompanying excitement, to suddenly being 32 and being a lawyer (or professor, or whatever) and having to figure out what that means, when you are supposed to already have spent so many years coming to know.

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By kate, July 24, 2012 7:05 pm

Ok, this pic is too amazing not to share in its own post. I think this will keep me laughing & going for all of tomorrow’s full day of multiple choice questions.

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By kate, July 23, 2012 7:39 pm

My sister in law Chrizelle gave me a kind note of good luck for the bar (with a Mr. Goodbar candy bar) and reminded me of Susan B. Anthony’s suffrage slogan: Failure is impossible. I love her optimism, and while failure is theoretically possible on the Virginia bar, I am sitting in my hotel room in Roanoke read to give it all I’ve got.

I’ve got my clear plastic baggie with all of my “approved items.” I’ve got my ergonomic keyboard and wrist braces. I’ve got at least a little bit of knowledge of all 26 testable subjects.

Wish me luck!

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By kate, July 20, 2012 6:50 pm

I got all of my practice essay grades back & I think it’s a pretty good indicator of how little the bar says about your abilities.

And I quote the grader of this essay:

Nice job here! 9/10. I think Corporations is your subject. You covered it articulately.

My best grade was on the Corporations essay. Oh the irony!

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By kate, July 19, 2012 1:25 pm

Ok, you know when you’ve been doing something for so long that your sense of humor is totally warped?

Well, I was studying Local Government Law (yes, that is a testable subject on the VA bar exam) today and came across the burden of proof a party challenging a local ordinance must show. They must show by clear and convincing proof “that the ordinance is not even debatably valid.”

Hilarious, right?

I laughed for about 10 minutes straight in my little hovel deep in the BYU law library carrels.

I think I’ve been at this for a wee bit too long!

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By kate, July 18, 2012 2:27 pm

As a result of studying for the bar I have:

• Had a severe stress rash
• Had to be treated for a UTI & Bladder infection
• Had multiple nervous breakdowns (mild)
• Been treated at the Chiropractor for severe back pain

And now the latest development of the bar saga is a sudden onset of severe Thoracic outlet syndrome that has rendered me unable to type or write  without pain (essential functions to take the bar) and sends shooting pain down my back and neck. The two groups of people most likely to develop TOS are those suffering from neck injuries due to traffic accidents and those who use computers in non-ergonomic postures for extended periods of time. I now have a Dr.’s note so that I can wear my newly acquired wrist braces into the exam.

Lovely.

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By kate, July 14, 2012 1:49 pm

I would just like to note that there are 24 testable subjects on the VA bar exam:

By July 24 (Pioneer Day) I am supposed to be able to write a full essay on any of these topics… some of which I have never heard of before graduating law school. Hmph! In addition to this there are 6 subject tested on the Multi-State portion of the exam, Constitutional Law, Contracts, Criminal Law (& Procedure!), Evidence, Real Property & Torts.

There are such twists & turns as 4 different tests for insanity as a criminal defense… hate to agree on just one & go with that. That would be too much clarity for the law to handle.

1. M’Naghten test
2. Irresistible impulse test
3. Durham rule
4. The Model Penal Code standard

By the end of this, and by any of the four different definitions of insanity above that I have to memorize, I will qualify.

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By kate, July 13, 2012 8:07 pm

One of my favorite law professors texted me some advice about the bar exam that made me smile.

Take good care of yourself, and remember the purpose of the bar is to make sure you’ve sufficiently assimilated. Resistance is futile!

She knows me so well, but I long ago conceded:

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By kate, July 10, 2012 1:35 pm

When first studying for the bar I tried to memorize every detail & took detailed notes. Now, with two weeks to go, I am whizzing through the lectures and trying to see the forest for the trees.

There is nothing quite as soul-sucking in a pointless-cramming for two month straight- with no need to actually remember anything after the test kind of a way. Endless mnemonics. Boring (thank you bar prep for teaching me the literal meaning of “bored to tears”) lectures. Subjects you’ve never heard of… suretyship?!?? WTF. All with the hope that what you belch out on exam day will add up to a passing score.

If I am alive on July 26th, I will consider it a victory.

I just need to visualize myself rollerskating around the Virginia Board of Bar Examiners, in red spandex and rainbow sequins, belting this song out.

Oh Gloria Gaynor, you’re a genius.

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By kate, May 22, 2012 11:45 pm

Ok, now WHY do we need these silly PhD hats just because the degree is called "juris doctor"??!?

It’s official. I can now participate in the main purpose of getting a JD: putting an “Esquire” after my name on EVERYTHING!**

I graduated from American University (see… you can tell by that hilariously large patch on the graduation regalia) on Sunday. At long, long last. I had this Indigo Girls song in my head all week for these lyrics:

I spent four years prostrate to the higher mind, got my paper. And I was free.

There was a reception for graduates the night before. Not to brag, but I was most definitely and without a shadow of a doubt the best dressed girl at the party.

Outfits sponsored by Patty Ransom

Patty made me this amazing dress, purse and matching tie from fabric Neil risked his life to get in a shady market in Kenya. As you can see, all of that sacrifice paid off. Big time.

The fam flew in just in time for the party

Favorite part of the OAS reception: WCL cookies (and the ample dessert bar)

I am just rakin’ in the amazing graduation gifts & not to be outdone… Donna Kelly handmade me a quilt she designed herself to look like Mexican tiles.

Truly amazing custom quilt made just for me!

The crowd of people at the ceremony was huge. But, considering there were almost 500 graduates, the ceremony was mercifully short. It was nice, aside from their obvious poor choice of student speaker. My friend Miss Jill came to graduation and texted me throughout the entire student speech about how bad it was to make me feel better for not having been chosen. It wasn’t hard to come up with material since the speech started off with a quote from Kanye West…to quote my mother’s favorite saying, “I am NOT making that up!”

Nearly 500 JD & LLM students & all of their fan clubs

For some unknown reason (perhaps because I turned in my last grade at the last possible moment on Friday and I was waiting to hear to see if I would make “cum laude” or not… which I did!, yessssss), I got totally unnecessarily nervous before I walked up on stage. I just plowed through and didn’t even shake my favorite professor’s hand or look up at my family in the bleachers.

Me making a mad-dash off the stage

Luckily, I got to see them all afterwards and they didn’t even notice.

My Con Law Prof. Jamie Raskin

My parents reaping the rewards of paying for my LSAT prep class

It was nice to celebrate a little with friends and folks who were so supportive of me through the adventure that is law school.

My Clinic partner Mina & fellow NLG board members Elena & Ann.

One of the sweetest moments of graduation was seeing my clinic client afterwards. She came and stayed for the entire ceremony even though she speaks NO English & couldn’t understand a word of it. She brought gifts and got to meet my family.

My clinic client

Helping her get asylum was the most rewarding thing that I did in law school (tie with completing my film, actually).

Z meeting my mom

I thoroughly enjoyed law school and made the most of it, but I am so SO so glad to be done.

I’ve got my paper & now I’m free!

**Of course I will only actually use “esquire” when I am officially barred…and then, I’m going to use the heck out of it!