We have returned from our great adventure to the Yucatan peninsula. We stayed in a fantastic beach house in a small town on the “Riviera Maya” called Akumal. It is about 90 minutes south of Cancun, depending on the driver. It was gorgeous and very peaceful.
Our last night in Mexico, we stayed in Cancun in the main hotel zone. Think of the antethesis of the word peaceful… that’s Cancun. A restaurant had a billboard that was emblazoned with the slogan, “A sunny place for shady people.” There is no better description for Cancun with its miles of hotels, American restaurants, TACKY shops, bars and all that is bad and wrong with America. They even have a Wal Mart. 
Luckily, we chose wisely and steered clear of Cancun for the most part. We visited ruins, snorkeled, swam, layed on our air mattress on the beach, went on a tour of a natural reserve, did a lot of lounging and had a grand ol’ time.
Well so far we have been running around the Yucatan trying to have the times of our lives. We have visited the ruins of Tulum and Chitzen Itza, swam in a cenote or two, and snorkeled in a sea turtle infested bay. Actually the snorkeling with the turtles has been my favorite part. Although every time I have tried to take photos of the animals my crappy underwater cameras seem to break. I have spent about $30 on film and cameras without getting a single shot. While snorkeling on Thursday I saw two barracuda about 4′ long. That was cool. Anyway this internet is too expensive for me so I am going to end here.
Neil has prepared for our voyage to Cancun by buying some new shorts. The closeup view below will give you a glorious view of the brand name of these plaid wonders. Yes, that’s right… Phat Farm. That is an American clothing brand.
Wish us well on our journey. We are going with my entire immediate family. So, naturally we’ll have plenty to blog about when we return.
We are going to Quintana Roo on Cinco de Mayo. Aw-yeah! In true lunatic fashion, my dad had 1 million presents professionally wrapped for a pre-Cancun party. Phew, not I’ve got the perfect hat to pack.
It has just been brought to my attention Hurricane Dean is progressing through the Caribbean and in all likelihood will hit Cancun the day before the Kelly family and Kate and I arrive.
The following outcomes were predicted by NASA’s super computer, Columbia:
- Kelly family’s flight is delayed in Texas for a day or two before it is safe to land in Cancun. When they land they find Cancun a desolated rumble heap with the entire population of tourists absent because they have illegally immigrated to Chiapas, Mexico. Kate and Neil have to steal a scooter and scoot their way through the eye of the hurricane at 35 miles an hour until they get to Cancun and meet the rest of the family. They all have a wonderful family vacation living in the remains of 5 star hotels and eating deep sea creatures washed up from the tsunami that follows.
- The Kelly family is able to fly to Cancun on schedule however they must fly around the hurricane adding 130 hours of flight time. By the time they land in Cancun they have just enough time to run through the airport and catch their flight home. In the mean time Kate and Neil start a NGO to help displaced tourists find foster families. While Kate remains a charitable saint Neil embezzles most of the hundreds of millions of aids dollars sent to the NGO. He eventually buys the state of Oaxaca from the Mexican government in what becomes known as the Oaxacan purchase, declares himself Mayan king, and rules the region with blood and terror the remained of his short days until he is violently dethroned by a CIA backed Mayan Liberation Army (MLA). The MLA eventually take over and rule with even more blood and terror. The MLA begins training terrorist who make an attack on American soil affecting mostly farm land. The US retaliates and starts a “short war” that turns out to be a quagmire costing the US thousands of soldier lives and billions of dollars only to withdraw in defeat.
- The Kelly family arrives without a hitch. During the few short hours they are in the air the Republican Party is found to be slave trading, illegally trafficking stolen human organs, and funding the largest systematic massacre of bunnies, puppies, and kittens. All of them are forced to resign and flee to Mexico as political refugees. Kate and Neil arrive on time in what turns out to be a pleasant bus ride from Campeche. Refugeed republicans are forced to seek low wage jobs throughout the Yucatan. The Kelly family vacation is wonderful, the sun comes out, the world’s pollution goes away, and during a nice seafood dinner the Kelly family is served by none other than George Walker Bush…and they Kelly’s don’t leave a tip.
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