Kate and Neil’s Awesome Website

1. Listen to extremely loud, extremely obscene music in your rice rocket, low rider and/or apartment. All the time. The key is to never stop. The louder it is the cooler you are + bass.

2. Listen to the constant hum from the large power plant across the street. Hmmmmm. Zzzzzzzz. Crackle. (This may explain the loudness of the music in part, but c’mon teens! We believe you. You are cool. Those rappers do like singing about hoes & you are cool for listening to it. But, we are decidedly not cool. In fact, we are just lame old curmudgeon whiteys who like to go to bed at 10pm. Have mercy!)

3. Listen to (not see) Sea World’s fireworks. Nightly at 8:50pm. Like clockwork.

4. Listen to 7am Simon & Garfunkel karaoke (Same polyphonic levels as aforementioned music. Despite the mixed genres, we are unsure… it may be the same culprits.)

5. Listen to the hundreds of barking dogs across the street in the COUNTY’S GIGANTIC ANIMAL SHELTER. That’s right folks. Volunteers walking dogs around the neighborhood in constant loops around the clock.

Funny the things you don’t notice when you check out an apartment for 10 minutes before signing the contract.

6. Smell marijuana smoke at any time of the day or night. We have the distinct pleasure of having it blown in from our fans. Our neighbors must have a pretty serious, yet invisible to the naked eye, medical condition. (Yep, you can get a prescription for marijuana in California. According to webhigh.com, a very reliable source I’m sure, “All you have to do is go to your regular doctor and have him or her document any medical condition that you have that qualifies for medical marijuana.” According to ehow.com, “Conditions which, by law, can be treated with medical marijuana include AIDS, cancer, chronic pain, anorexia, glaucoma, and arthritis.“) I am seriously considering getting a prescription for my back pain.

7. Squish bugs. As Pamy so eloquently put it in her comment on our last article, “that’s the problem with beautiful places; the bugs and the hippies always find them.” Especially spiders. Apparently they decided that humans were smart and ALL headed for the sweet life in southern California.

8. Listen to planes flying overhead. Too bad the City of San Diego didn’t hire Neil on as a “Junior City Planner” earlier (he recently applied for this position- cross your fingers) because someone back in the day decided that the airport for a major metropolitan area would be best situated RIGHT DOWN TOWN very near the bay. Brilliant.

9. Study. Ok, that’s not really a favorite pass time. It’s just what I do a lot of. (I guess I glossed over the checkbox on the Law School application where I indicated that yes, “I have the attention span of an adderall riddled doctor of library science & affirm that I will never get bored reading things entitled “United States v. Armstrong” and the like. Pity.) As you can see I have rigged a cardboard study desk for my frequent studying. And yes, that is a Macbook Air. Sweet, sweet law school loans.

10. Obsessively check the Craigslist.org “free” category for random items. Where else can you get a free “nonworking dishwasher” or free “box of artificial roses” or a free “old wooden horse drawn wagon” or free “lobster bait”?? Ok, you can really do that in any neighborhood thanks to the world wide web. But, look at the wonderful fruit San Diego Craigslist has yielded our little apt. Ok, the couch wasn’t free… but, we got it for a song & it just goes so well with our lime green walls!